So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
