I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You just made me feel so damn special
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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