It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
