so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
