I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
