I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
