he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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