Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize