she was so not down for the gang bang
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
