You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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