Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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