If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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