if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
