I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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