I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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