Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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