It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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