so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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