we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You took a bar mat shot.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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