Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
