so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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