Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
