I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
