I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
