ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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