Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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