did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
