It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
