I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
we're so committed to being not committed
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
