Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
