I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
