Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
