it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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