id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
