God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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