woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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