Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize
