What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
