At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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