Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
