even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Found your dick twin last night
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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