We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
