She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
