A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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