You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
