he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
