There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I have post one night stand depression
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
