is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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