The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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