Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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