Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
