my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize