he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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