I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
