mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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