Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
