shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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