dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
