sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize