Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
