Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
