Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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