is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
