my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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