its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
