i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
