Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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