I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
