I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
