Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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