At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize