you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
